What The Fuck?: Man tries to take Pony on Train, Fails miserably

Yeah well, this one time, I tried to take something really big and fleshy on the train, and they would allow me to travel either. What, it was my ham sandwich?! I’m joking, you guys know what it is….right?……RIGHT?…….STOP LOOKING AT ME!

Here shows CCTV footage released by Arriva Trains Wales shows an man trying to take his pony onto a train. At 7:02 he was seen trying to enter the train  in Wrexham with his pony, and got rejected immediately. WHAT?! I KNOW! I dont see why they rejected him! Its not as if he was gonna start riding it up and down (thats what she said)  the isle, shitting all over peoples faces. However that would be disgusting hilarious! All he needs is some battle armour, then he would look bad-ass. What confuses me is, how the fuck did he get there in the first place? I’m imagining he used the pony to jump over the barrier things whilst shouting, "FOR FREEEEEEDOM!!!!!" in a bad Scottish accent with blue paint all over his face……….too much? (Yup.) 

Lesson Learnt: You cant take Ponies on trains (ewwwwwww not like that, okay, maybe like that, but still.) 

Ewwwww!: New York artist creates cheese made from breast milk

HOORAY, A RELATED PHOTO!! (too bad its a fat women with her droopy Mc-Droopletons out on display, next to what i think is a chessemaker vibrator)

The one thing that annoys me the most is that it says "Artist". Seriously, she makes milk from her fucking breasts and its called art. I dip my hand penis in a paint can and slap it on a random guys face on the bus, and I get a lawsuit and a restraining order. SCREW YOU PICASO! Basically this women thought it would be artistic to find 3 nursing women, stick some turkey basters to there titties and yank like a motherfuckerWell, not like that, but who cares? (Me). Anyway, she then did some boring stuff and then turned it into cheese. Here is the disgusiting part;

"There a 3 Distinct Flavours, West-Side Funk, Midtown Smoke and Wisconsin Chew."

I’m sorry, what?! Flavours of breast milk cheese?! *Puke’s in cup, drinks the cup, puke’s in cup again* They may as well be called one thing, Blue Stillborn (low blow i know, but funny, right? RIGHT?) 

Lesson Learnt: Picaso is a douchebag. 

Is this even legal?: Spanish naked gym exercising session’s

NI**ER SAY WHAT?! You gotta be shitting me right? But on the plus side, atleast there is a relevant photo…….(however it is of two droopy saggy old people)… INSTANT BONER.

That’s right kids! all for a measly, retina burning price £0, you can witness the most  beautiful disgusting thing in your entire life! I still cant understand why they would do this?  THINK OF THE CHILDREN (not at the gym though, as that would just be fucking sick……..giggidy) ANYWAY, a gym in Spain is now offering naked gym sessions open to anyone willing enough to get crunk. I mean who doesnt want to be doing sit ups, and see a 50 year old man’s wang flopping all over the place whilst he’s on the treadmill? (I know I would). If i was there, I would go MILF GILF hunting, and use the rowing machine as an elaborate sex contraption named The Pussy Pounder (all rights reserved, bitches) 

Lesson Learnt: The people in Spain are horny mother-fuckers!! 

JUST LOL: Douchebags break into SAS van, Smelly outcome.

I hate the youth of today (but you are the youth of today) SHUT UP MOM!

Some teenagers in Manchester decided to go out for a nice family dinner  Van-breaking-into-just-for-the-crack (couldn’t they just of masturbated or something? Its what I do anyway…) Meanwhile, The SAS were doing a secret training mission, and were in an unmarked black van. Can you see where this is going? (Not really.) The surround surveillance team said that if the teenagers do break in, to give them a little treat (Gotta love the army, except for the daily butt sex. Im joking, its oral.). Anyway, the teenagers did decide to break into the van, probably THE stupidest thing they could have done. The SAS guys, fully kitted out with guns, gas masks, lube, etc, performed a routine "GET THE FUCK ON THE GROUND!!!!!" check. (id give them an 7/10). The look on the kids faces must have been a sight of pure beauty. Kinda like your Mom Nan. It would have been like walking in on your parents having dirty butt sex, but with your gun to your face. (giggidy giggidy goo) As well as this, they probably shat a brick House. I guess its pretty safe to say that they wont be breaking into vans for a long time, or walking for that matter, as their ringsting must be fierce! *sings Ring of Fire - Jonny Cash* 

Lesson Learnt: Dont fuck with the army, or they will fuck you. (why else is their acronym an anagram for ASS)