IM BAAAAACK, AGAINNN!

I just thought this photo was HILARIOUS, who doesn’t like seeing a ginger kid crying……..EXACTLY! I thought i’d put it in to get your attention. Now that I have it, I’m going to rape you………wait, I meant…..no, I meant rape.

Im actually gonna try and keep up with this thing, FO’REAL! and if not, you have the full right to punch me in the face Penis

Much love to everyone who actually takes time to read the pointless things i have to say about pointless stuff!

Your’s BITCHFULLY

God. 

What The Fuck?: Man tries to take Pony on Train, Fails miserably

Yeah well, this one time, I tried to take something really big and fleshy on the train, and they would allow me to travel either. What, it was my ham sandwich?! I’m joking, you guys know what it is….right?……RIGHT?…….STOP LOOKING AT ME!

Here shows CCTV footage released by Arriva Trains Wales shows an man trying to take his pony onto a train. At 7:02 he was seen trying to enter the train  in Wrexham with his pony, and got rejected immediately. WHAT?! I KNOW! I dont see why they rejected him! Its not as if he was gonna start riding it up and down (thats what she said)  the isle, shitting all over peoples faces. However that would be disgusting hilarious! All he needs is some battle armour, then he would look bad-ass. What confuses me is, how the fuck did he get there in the first place? I’m imagining he used the pony to jump over the barrier things whilst shouting, "FOR FREEEEEEDOM!!!!!" in a bad Scottish accent with blue paint all over his face……….too much? (Yup.) 

Lesson Learnt: You cant take Ponies on trains (ewwwwwww not like that, okay, maybe like that, but still.) 

I’MMMMMMMMMMM BAAAAACCCCCCCCCCK!!!!!

We know your bla…oh wait. 

THAT’S RIGHT FOLKS! IM BACK HORNY!!!!!! Sorry if you guys were really happy mindlessly bored and wanted something topically interesting to read and didn’t find it, because i wasn’t here, I was to busy being not busy (Wait, what?!) Anyway, stick around as ill be posting things hopefully daily , or whenever the fuck I feel like updating it, BITCH. *cheeky grin*

PEACE AND LOVE

Super Chocolate Bear *signature* 

OOOH, AAAHHH: Mesmerizing swinging balls of Happiness

How gay is the caption on a scale of one to ten you ask? but i didnt ask a questi… ITS ELEVEN GOD DAMN IT. 

Well, once upon a time, I was trolling through the interwebz  my mental porn bank (don’t tell me you don’t have one!) and somehow stumbled across this video. I mean at first I was all like, "Whut?", but then i was like "Ahhh", and finished on , "Oooh!”. Its a video of a desktop ball thingy, which was progressively longer pieces of string attaching them to the pole. (and you guys thought this would be an innuendo about my balls, well it is, all 18 of them) Just click on the link below to watch the video, but beware, you might get hypnotised and start  licking your wall…. or something worse………. (I take no responsibility on the things you may or may not lick…) 

Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVkdfJ9PkRQ&feature=player_embedded


I want one!: Uber fast Mobility scooter takes on plane and wins!

I dont care how you look at it, this guy has balls ovaries of steel!

A guy named Colin,(seen here taking a massive dump on the go) race modified a mobility scooter. You can tell this guy doesn’t get laid much, accept for the line of Gran’s lined up outside his house to test out his suspension” *wink wink, puke*. He put a 125cc motorcycle engine in the back just to see if it would work, tested  it out on a public road. He ended up with a speeding ticket registering 75.9 mph on a 30 mph road, and somehow avoided going to court (probably by giving a blowjob to the policeman, its what i’d do ive done). Anyway, he thought it would be cool to have a drag race against a aeroplane, and got his head chopped off! Well…….not quite, he won and lived to tell the tale (selfish bastard). He is now working on a 250cc engine model, in which he hopes to beat a superbike…… That aint happening. 

Lesson Learnt: Grandma’s are not too keen on anal…. 

My Bad: Sex Toy leads to the Po’Po breaking down doors

Oh how this photo make me laugh horny. Nothing like getting pleasure from his head. I mean just look at that cute little tie! However, this is nothing to do with the story….or does it…(No)

A distressed elderly neighbour had reported that the next door apartment was using a power-drill/jackhammer late at night. Seriously? if an old batty women called you up in the middle of the night and said, SOMEONE IS USING A JACKHAMMER NEXT DOOR, HELP ME”, your initial reaction would be to block her number track her down and shoot her in the face (well atleast i would anyway). But anyway, as per usual, the Po’Po were called, and they tried for 30 minutes to get into the house, as the home-owner was not in. Because she wasn’t in (I’m guessing hoping it was a she), they burst her fucking down her door. They concluded that a Dildo had turned itself on automatically (ROBOTIC ARMAGEDDON, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!), and had been vibrating on the floor(Well you know, floors do get pretty lonely). The Po’Po turned off the dildo, and just walked out, leaving the home owner with a nice little gift of a turd in her toilet  NO FRONT DOOR (which she will have to replace). I bet if she was in their using it, they would fix the door back with their bare feet penises.

Lesson Learnt: ROBOTIC ARMAGEDDON IS HERE, WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!