LOL whut?: Heavy metal music saves Norwegian boy from wolves

So what would of happened if he played JLS? He would have probably been caressed and sang a lovely song  mauled apart and then fucked (and yes, in that order). Oh and im sorry for another unrelated picture……but DRINKS ALL ROUND!

Right now back to the post. This fourteen your old kid went for a pleasent walk wank in the forest behind his garden, in the foothills of Norway. On his way back, he was unexpectedly suprised by 4 big ass mother-fucking wolves. (now this is the part i dont get) The boy, who was probably shitting himself, got his phone out an started playing some heavy metal music. I’m sorry, what? Your about to die and the best thing you could do is whip out your phone penis?! If it was me, i’d of been all like;

OH HEY GUYS, yeahh i got some new choons for ya’ll, just promise you wont eat me? I got some Busted, some Backstreet Boys, ill blutooth it you now bbygurl *wink face*

Well anyway, the wolves decided that heavy metal wasn’t their music taste, and pounced off into the distance, and they all lived happily ever after. (Booooring). Would have been more fun if they mistaken him for a Shewolf *insert annoying Shakria song*

Lesson Learnt: Dont fuck with wolves, unless you like Heavy Metal, then you can fuck with them (but dont fuck them…………okay……..maybe a little)

JUST LOL: Douchebags break into SAS van, Smelly outcome.

I hate the youth of today (but you are the youth of today) SHUT UP MOM!

Some teenagers in Manchester decided to go out for a nice family dinner  Van-breaking-into-just-for-the-crack (couldn’t they just of masturbated or something? Its what I do anyway…) Meanwhile, The SAS were doing a secret training mission, and were in an unmarked black van. Can you see where this is going? (Not really.) The surround surveillance team said that if the teenagers do break in, to give them a little treat (Gotta love the army, except for the daily butt sex. Im joking, its oral.). Anyway, the teenagers did decide to break into the van, probably THE stupidest thing they could have done. The SAS guys, fully kitted out with guns, gas masks, lube, etc, performed a routine "GET THE FUCK ON THE GROUND!!!!!" check. (id give them an 7/10). The look on the kids faces must have been a sight of pure beauty. Kinda like your Mom Nan. It would have been like walking in on your parents having dirty butt sex, but with your gun to your face. (giggidy giggidy goo) As well as this, they probably shat a brick House. I guess its pretty safe to say that they wont be breaking into vans for a long time, or walking for that matter, as their ringsting must be fierce! *sings Ring of Fire - Jonny Cash* 

Lesson Learnt: Dont fuck with the army, or they will fuck you. (why else is their acronym an anagram for ASS)